Walking With Others!

     In 2006, Carrie and I began ministering to married couples in the context of a small group within our Church.  Now into our 9th year, we have very close personal relationships with several couples  from the ministry.  For many years now, I have consistently given Thanks to God for "surrounding me with such great friends!"   Even though I am the teacher, my own marriage has been highly impacted.  How? you ask.  Through the fellowship and  the close walk with other couples.  Walking with others who love me, laugh with me, and pray for me, all while knowing the "real" me is a critical resource for me and my marriage.  If I encounter one of those weeks that causes stress in my marriage or God forbid, the often-experienced "Sunday-Morning-Disaster" just trying to get out of the house and to Church, it only takes about 15 minutes in Sunday School class to realize I am not the only one with troubles, and in relationship with others, I am able to laugh at myself, experience peace, and overcome.  Fellowship with others has a way of revealing the truth of situations and reducing the size of the mountain I am facing.  I come to realize, "this thing is not as big as I have thought it to be."   

Photo taken from a recent couples retreat in Tennessee.  

Note: Not everyone could make this trip, there are usually more.....

      I am ever reminded that the marriage covenant is under attack, whether through cultural influences like those that seek to redefine "family," unseen spiritual devices, or the ever popular differences (that we politically correct term "irreconcilable").  Marriage has become an intense battle ground in our culture, with a high-percentage ending in divorce.  Often, when troubles arise in marriage, isolation is the option of choice and through isolation, one feels completely alone in the world, which causes the problem to become magnified.  A better choice, then is to walk with others who love you and will be there to support you through the difficulty.  I find it interesting how often others have experienced or are working through similar situations themselves.  This type of interaction will often strengthen us and give us power and energy to overcome the obstacle that would have otherwise seemed  impossible through isolation.  If there was ever a day to walk with other couples that strengthen and support you, it is NOW!  "Thanks be to God for those He has surrounded me with!"        

Family Is Always A Work In Progress

    It's pretty amazing how quiet it can get on a Marriage/ Family website, when the marriage is "Under Construction." How can one expect a perfect marriage from individuals that are imperfect? Marriage takes work, it takes patience (why do you think Paul began the list of love's characteristics with "Love is patient or long-suffering..." I Corinthians 13). Marriage and family takes learning and discovery, both self and other. I am always changing, and if I don't know me, how can I clearly reveal who I am so that I can be known by my wife and family? Marriage takes selflessness, commitment, and a resolve to overcome all obstacles. Communication obstacles can arise in difficult seasons and it is critical to work through them to have a healthy marriage and family. Enter the main theme of this post.... With the difficult season which began when I broke my leg, our marriage faced stress, particularly in the area of communication. We faced this difficulty with a goal of really being able to have hard conversations and not bring harm to one another. Marital difficulty is not always pretty or worthy to be blogged and shared with the world, but marriages are not perfect and I am not the "Worlds Greatest Husband" so we must face the fact that hard times are going to arise, and the home is not always a bed of roses. AND.... that's OK!! God's grace is sufficient and His strength is made perfect when we are weak, and make no mistake about it... we are weak! Prayer and time with God is something we cannot forsake, we MUST have His presence to overcome times of difficulty and weakness. The good news is He is available and we can approach Him and must do so. We must seek Him for help and stand with resolve and patience as He works "all things together for our good." "His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor His delight in the legs of the warrior; the Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their trust in His unfailing love." (Psalm 147:10-11, NIV). We cannot despise the work that it takes to meet our marital and family goals. Anything worth having takes work and effort. In our case, our communication is much improved; Perfect? No, but better and I am thankful for progress. We are walking with more patience and are more intentional to resolve without damaging each other.  It's alright to face the truth that the family we are building is a constant work in progress!

A Surprise for My Celtic Cheerleader

     My goal as father and husband is to build a beautiful family culture in my home.  I like to keep things interesting and surprising, to keep love-in-action as an regular occurrence for my kids and my wife.  So for this latest surprise, my son and I had a weekend home, while mommy and sissy traveled away for a cheering competition. My daughter's Celtics team brought home 1st place in 2 categories, so we made a little banner to welcome them home and celebrate their accomplishment.

18 Years Ago...

      It was March 13, 1996 and time again for the West Virginia State High School Boys Basketball Tournament. I was a freshman at what was then, Pikeville College (now University of Pikeville) in Southeastern Kentucky. Feeling like the big man on campus, you know... high school campus, I ventured to Charleston for a weekend of fun, basketball, and chasing high school cheerleaders. Having no specific prospects in mind, I considered the typical menu, Tolsia High cheerleaders or those from the more local Burch High. As that first night neared and my friends and I established our first strategic plan, we ventured downtown where the Bulldog Cheerleaders from Burch High were staying. I felt confident, as I should, I had an inside connection in the person of my aunt, the cheer coach! Upon entering the hotel, there before me was my first target, the younger but growing more and more HOT, Carrie Preece! When I saw her in the lobby, I was taken by how good she looked, and I braced for what the weekend might hold for me. As my friends and I became informed as to what floor the Burch cheerleaders were staying, we put our "game-face" on and up the elevator we went.  I played it safe for hours and just mingled and talked to lots of familiar people, shared some laughs and surveyed the females. As the night was nearing a close, I just might have played it too safe and failed to take enough risk. All of a sudden, the tide turned and I found myself in a very interesting and vulnerable situation. I walked out of a hotel room and into the hallway seeking a vending machine. Carrie, standing in the hallway as I passed by, shot me with an elastic hair bow. I caught it and proceeded to my destination, she followed! Noticing that she was in pursuit, I simply ducked behind  a corner to hide from her.  When she found me, I dangled the hair bow as bait, she took it.  As she reached for the bait in my right hand, I placed my left arm around her waist and pulled her close (still don't really know why I had the nerve to do that!). Suddenly, standing face-to-face with this young woman, who would become my wife, I became smitten!  I peered into her eyes and she into mine, everything faded into the background, and a connection was born!  As curfew became an obvious enemy to whatever was happening to me, I used my inside source, Coach Alice to get more much-desired time to talk to Carrie and further explore the developing connection.  We met in the Coach's room and engaged in conversation for maybe an hour before the inevitable occurred.... lights out.  Coach Alice ran us out of her room, and it was time for me to bid good-night.  However, I was not willing to go away without making a lasting impression, so there in the hotel hallway, just the two of us, I pulled her close once more and .... we kissed!  Needless to say, I have never forgotten that Wednesday night 18 years ago!  

Walking With Other Families: A Weekend Getaway

     One of the things that my wife and I learned quite some time ago was the benefit of walking with other families and how enriching it is to our own family.  God's act of "fitly framing together"  the Body of Christ (Eph. 2:21)  calls Kingdom people to walk with others.  Isolation is a strategy of the enemy often used to scatter and separate people, families, marriages, etc.  Conversely, the work of Christ is to gather the scattered into the Body of Christ, which is comprised of many members walking together under Christ's headship.  

    A couple weeks back, our family received an invitation to join a few other families on a camping trip to a local lake, and boy did we have a great time of relaxation, fun, laughter and fellowship.  A bonus was added when our kids' grandparents showed up to add to the fun!  This short video is a compilation of some of the fun we had on the lake!  If your family is not enjoying fellowship with other families, give it a try!